Change is good

We used to be in each others life, 

more involved, 

more sensual, 

more real. 

Now I spend so much of my time thinking about you. 

About us. 

Convinced enough to try and fix it.

Think that I could try and figure out where we went wrong and make everything okay again. 

I want everything to go back to the way it was before we became such different people. 

But we both changed;

There is no denying it. 

We are still in each other's lives, but in a new way now, 

a less involved way, 

but still some sort of way. 

And I'm accepting it, 

I don't mind it so much anymore, 

I'll be okay, 

Eventually. 

I'm afraid

I cannot always find an answer 

For the things that happens in my life. 

At the moment I'm afraid 

That my bones will rust,

Before these feelings do. 

I'm afraid that

My soul will fade, 

Before this ink does. 

I'm afraid that

I will lose my tongue, 

Before the world loses its flavour. 

I'm afraid that

You will (not) be there 

When the bullet strikes. 

Starry Night

When it went down it was hard to believe.

It was like a burning fire inside of me. 

I want to scream from the inside out! 

So loud! The whole world can hear me cry. 

You were supposed to be nothing.

I should feel nothing.

Unfortunately I do. 

I want to forget about it. 

That night we shared something fiery. 

A night where the skies were filled with darkness and raging stars. 

A night filled with too much alcohol 

Where I could feel the poison gushing through my veins.

A night I should forget, but I don't know if I'm ready, yet? 

Honey, I still feel this way.

I replay that memory over and over. 

My head keeps on wondering what life would've been like with you here, 

In the present.

Although you repeatedly asked me:

"what do you want out of this?" 

I just kept on saying: "Nothing!" 

Now months later you're all I can think about, 

morning and night. 

Before I go to bed, 

Who knows, maybe I might even dream about you, 

But still I think about you, although you told me not to. 

I've written so many words about you,

about "us",

even though we're nothing. 

Well we've never been anything. 

I just feel like I can collide with you, fly with you, 

feels like nothing can touch me when I'm around you. 

Have you ever written any words about me? 

Do you think about me when I'm not around you? 

Even after you told me: "You're the only girl I'm going to miss, after I'm gone?" 

Those words are on repeat in my head, especially when I've had too much to drink. 

Are you the one? Why am I even thinking about this when I know you might not be "the one"? 

Are you some sort of "soulmate" I've found? 

Will you move mountains for me? 

Will you love me? 

Even when I'm stuck in my dark days, when I feel like I'm worthless? 

Or are you just a figment of my imagination, because I find you much more beautiful than life itself? 

Or are you a phase I'm going through even when you're more than a 100 miles away? 

I ask myself all of these questions 

Cause babe, since the first time I saw you from across that bar and I wrote that poem about you. 

I still feel like you're that one I can undress, cause honey, I feel like you can undress me. 

We are passion

The taste of your kiss

lingers on my lips.

Simple, sweet,

and so delectable, you have

me yearning for more

Seduction surges 

my body and

makes me stiff.

Passion is not bliss

It is not happiness

It is not easy. 

Passion is pain

It is tumultuous 

It is tears.

Passion is victory

It is triumph

It is delight

Passion

Finds in every look a sign, 


Catching in some wondrous fashion

Every mood that governs thine. 



In a moment it will borrow,

Flashing in a gusty train, 


Laughter and desire and sorrow 


Anger and delight and pain.

I climb on top

of you and 

your body 

intertwines with mine;

stranded perfectly together.

My arm wraps around 

your back. 

As I pull your body close to mine,

your gasp whispers in 

my ear. 

You want more.

So soft are your legs,

which my fingers 

explore. 

My hands are curious

creatures, and you are

too inviting for my 

own good.

Another kiss. 

This one is fire. 

Passion blazing

while flames and heat

transfer from your

mouth to mine.

Two halves,

Equalling a whole.

A light yelp

escapes your mouth

and transforms 

into a soft moan.

We are soaring

above cloud nine;

higher than we could 

even imagine.

We are passion.

Nyctophilia

he is made up of words that not everyone can understand. 

feels like he was made not to be understood. 

his mind is a dictionary of sadness and heartache, 

his heart is a poem for the hopeless. 

it takes a while to understand him, still 

he is the prettiest song, 

a perfect sonnet, 

the most meaningful haiku 

and the longest novel. 

Lost spaces and time

Upon the moon I fixed my eyes,

In one of those sweet dreams I slept.

Racy visions play 

in my head like

roll on a film.

As a weed beneath the ocean, 


As a pool beneath a tree, 


All the while my eyes I kept on that descending moon.



So my spirit swift; feeling like a starving artist struggling to find 

that roller coaster feeling. 

It's like being in vast expanses of nature, and I'm still not able to breathe.

As a star in the sky on a dark summer night,

Set fire to my mind.

Relentless like the tides of the moon.

These moments are restless,

Racing from the past

Tumbling into the future.

So I reached out for a vivid dream, 

Being sucked into a vortex of whirling cosmic space dust.

Now the skies are telling me nothing. 

Still restless, never ending. 

Humanity

My faith in humanity is shaking.
This place can be so ugly sometimes.

There is so much cruelty in this world that we can’t ignore it.
It is so easy to see all of it and hate the world.
You don’t have to be positive all of the time.
It is exhausting,

Yet, at the end of the day
I can’t help but look around and see something beautiful,
no matter how small it is.

I know it is hard to love sometimes,
but you’ve got to give it a try.
Don’t let the world take your softness away.
Hold on to your compassion,
there is still so much beauty waiting to be unraveled.

Dear Melancholy

Dear melancholy
you fill my mind,
deranged moments
are easy to find.

My soul is weary,
my mask has faded

An air of melancholy surrounds me.

Creeping in,
seeping ever deep
into my bones.

Controlling my very
train of thought,

Surrounding my soul,
threatening to 
swallow me whole.

Undressing my mind and ushers out words 
I didn’t know I had in me.

Hypnotizing me effortlessly,
soon I will fall in love
with the feeling of 
sadness. 

It's me, all along.

I've lost track of my emotions.

I feel like I'm changing with the season. 

Turning dull, crying on the inside, 

I run, run like a weightless soul through these empty streets. 

There where the sun used to shine. 

There is summer and then there is winter. 

The earth is filled with water, clouds,

With dew and rain that lies upon it. 

In winter the trees seam to shed all their leaves. 

In summer the sun is above the earth. 

I seek shade to hide from the heat. 

The trees cover themselves with leaves again. 

Through the changing seasons, 

Through the empty streets,

All along it's me I've been looking for.

Care a little less

Maybe I am too much, or maybe I love too much.

Maybe I care too much, or maybe I just worry too much.

It’s just my nature, I cannot change that.

I hate to be taken advantage of, so don’t take advantage of me.

Sometimes I wonder...do you really care?

Please don’t tell me what I want to hear, I just want to know the truth.

I'm sorry for being kind,
caring too much,
and hoping for a better tomorrow. 

I care too much dammit!

I won’t stop caring, I won’t stop acting on my

values,

ideas,

principles

or beliefs.

I get mad, I get crazy.

Not at you, but at myself.

It won’t happen again,

I am taking some steps...taking a pause.

I care, but maybe I should start caring a little less.

Untitled

I stare at these empty pages.

The cursor flickers "on-off, on-off" 

I don't wanna talk about feelings anymore.

What is it even? 

Emotions, love, 

Can you feel it? 

I do.

Stop! Thinking about it too much, darling! 

Let's move together, 

My head is still aching of all that G&T.

I'm only human

I make mistakes 

As I keep on wondering;

I wonder what it feels like being in space?

So far away from earth.

Endless space around you. 

All you can hear is the sound of your own breath 

Flying in between those stars, 

Galaxies away. 

That's where I'd rather travel to than anywhere else on earth. 

Sowing the Seeds

Oh! How the sun shines on your people,

With beautiful smiles beyond compare.

Awe-inspiring music,

Serenading us with your soulful jams.

The sound of music traveling with the winds, 

Superb helping hands,

You showed me kindness. 

The light here is brighter.

With our sandals and sunglasses tan. 

Ice-cream and tequila,

Whilst the majestic clouds build up in the distance.

Dancing in the rain

Living like we are young again. 

The lyrics mouthed from our lips.

Oh! Sowing the Seeds, 

Today will live beyond these moments.

Life

Tears stream down my face

How did I end up here? 

Why explain myself, when I don't even know? 

How did I allow "life" to control me?

Emotions are useless.

It makes you break on the inside.

Striving towards a point, 

I just don't know anymore. 

As the drops fall from my face, 

I still feel lost and out of place.

Suffocating me, 

Drowning me,

Breaking me with emotions not needed. 

I don't need this anymore,

So please, just go away! 

Feelings and emotions

Today I realised I shouldn't tell my brain what to do, or what to think.

When you've got feelings for someone, 
Embrace it.
Think about the good you see in them.

Do not try and ignore those feelings,
Even if they don't feel the same.
Leave them.  Let it be.

Sooner or later you'll realise that,
The beauty you see in people doesn't necessarily mean they're a soulmate. 

My summer night.

Consumed with desire.
That's all you'll ever be.

You're like a summer night,
The way you keep me up.

This lust is uncontrollable.
I dream of your lips pressed against mine.
With your hands exploring my body, 
You press me up against a wall.

Heated passion,
With kisses that burn.

Our mouths moving in time ,
With no space between us,
Let's keep on exploring.

Uncontrollable

There are no two stronger human emotions than fear and love.

In many ways they're not so different.

Both can make you do crazy things.

Make time

I might be pissed off.
I might sound negative. 

The only thing I'm trying to tell you is that you should make time for the people who truly cares.

If you're "too" busy today.
You'll be "too" busy tomorrow.

The people you call friends are the ones
helping you to achieve your goals.

Don't leave them behind when you're "too" busy making other plans.

Rhetorical

Fitting into another culture is not easy.
Like stepping into the unknown.

What if your soulmate is different than you?
What if you still need to realise what life is about?

How should you know how to react?
What if we are different?

Living in a universe that's unravelling, day by day.
How are you supposed to know where to fit in?
When you don't even know yourself? 

Bitter Poem

I know we all can pretend, but the moon does not.

Let’s not pretend anymore.

It is time we face our fears,

                                                       

I’m scared to walk the world on my own.

Burn all the bridges to the ground,

Turn all the pictures around.

I don’t want to fight any more.

Don’t even come and knock on my door.

Let’s not pretend anymore.

Our souls should reflect in the deserts,

Our happiness should determine our fear,

Let’s do what we should have done a long time ago,

Let’s do what makes us happy.

Take what you want out of life,

Don’t let opportunities pass on by.

You.

Put on your mask
Prepare your lies,
No one will ever see through your disguise.

You know those sad things in life were
just pieces to complete a happy ending.

You go to bed at night,
But maybe you fell asleep crying,
You act like nothing is wrong,
Maybe you're lying.

You think we have forever, but we don't.

You don't know what to say,
That's okay!
You know what we are - I know what we're not!

I wrote you a poem

I wrote you a poem today.
It's about the feelings we had for each other.
How space wrote your name in my eyes.

The way we used to hold hands,
Your fingers move smoothly across my legs,
A smile on your face everytime I look at you.

Questions you asked that only had "happy" as an answer.

Happy was all I felt ,
A feeling I can find somewhere else now.

I wrote you a poem today,
One that says good bye,  for now.

A moment in time

We are but infinite humans.
Lost beyond the clouds,
Endless in space.

We long for feelings we don't need,
Wasting away,
Wasting the day.

Feelings of melancholy;
Disastrous,
Dishonest,
Depressing.

Even nostalgia; 
Wistful,
Longing,
Regret.

I have no remorse for the things I have done.
I am only human.
Lost between a moment in time.

Platonic Love

You have no idea

How highly I appreciate 

your existence.

Sometimes I can't explain

What I see in you as a person,

It is just the way you take me to a place where no one else can. 

Let’s not lock eyes,
Let’s not trade hearts,
Let’s not make-out under the stars.

I might want to squeeze you tight,
But I will never spend the night.
I do care, make no mistake:
Without you, my heart would break.

So let’s just love each other platonically 

Useless people

The wine so sweet
The thoughts so deep.

I don't even know why I
allow myself to think that way.

So I'm just gonna say it.
I'm gonna say it so loud that 
The whole world can hear my voice.

I'm sick and tired of all these useless people and their useless opinions.           

Their useless words   
  Their useless judgements
     Just plain old useless people 

There I said it!!

Longing for lost time.

As the clock keeps on ticking
away with the time and our
scars start healing. 

Do you think of me, 
Like I think of you?

We get rid of our shadows,
That's ment to stay in the dark.

Time flies by,
Remember to stay alive.

Space

It's become an obsession.
An addiction I cannot get rid of.

The galaxy is our truth, 
The stars are our thoughts.
We're in the universe,
Riding on the same vibe, babe!

I want to live in space.
It's a dream I'm going to chase.

Die keer is dit anders.

Jy wandel in my kop rond,
Al het ek gesê jy moet fokof.
Jy is nogsteeds een van my hart se punte.

Jy maak my glimlag,
Jy maak my gelukkig, 
Maar die keer is dit anders...

Ek voel nie meer soos wat ek gevoel het nie.
Die is anders.

Dalk is dit net my brein wat shit,
Oor dink...                                    
Dalk is dit net anders, want            
Jy maak my anders voel.

Jy maak my só voel,
Om rede...?
Wel ek weet nie.         

Tog soek ek jou nogsteeds,elke keer wat ek nag sê vir die wêreld.

Dit vat tyd.

Besef jy dit is

Realiteit die.

Ons hou nogsteeds aan om te probeer wys alles is, okay!

Is dit?

Jy verloor jou gedagtes

Jy sien nie eers hoe tyd verby gaan nie.

Besef jy dat die lewe aangaan?

Min mense doen. 

One step closer

I am waiting for a love

Not in a sense of needing it, or feeling it.

I just want that feeling.

I know I can’t have it until I sort out,

My own life

I’m still lost between feelings,

Emotional.

I am afraid to open up for the unknown

I know what I have right now

Is life

Yet, I am still scared for the unknown.

Not knowing what tomorrow might bring.

Not knowing how I will leave this earth.

Still there is nothing I can do about it right now.

I just need to start believing, until I know it is gone. 

It's about understanding...

There is something about you.

Feelings put into words,
Only some can describe.

Yours? 
Immaculate. . .

Is it even real?

I really do like you,

but you are a chain smoker and
I'm just another pack of cigarettes.

Wake-up darling, life is too short

Your skin is taking the shape of your skeleton.

Your body looks weak,

The fact that you allow yourself to go down that road,

Is your own damn fault.

You are either seeking attention,

Or ruining your own life.

The way you hang out with that crowd,

The way you let them control that weakness,

I feel no more remorse,

It is pitiful, yet why should I?

I know you are better than this,

Why stay trapped in that dark hole,

When you can have a happy light shining on you?

Oh honey, let's escape it all.

Stay away,

Hide…

Keep distance from that darkness

that’s trying to grasp your happiness.

Darkness has a mind of its own,

Don’t let that foolish thought take control.

Uncontrollable is how you describe life,

You are wrong.

You’ll never escape to the infinite if you hold on to that fear.

“come with me, darling, let’s run away from it all”

We are all just like butterflies.

a Butterfly can not see their own wings.

They cannot see how truly beautiful they are,

But everyone else can.

People are just like butterflies. 

Done trying

I wanted to write down

Exactly how I felt about you,

But somehow

The paper just stayed empty…

I could not have

described it any better.

a Simple line of thought

I have been thinking …

I want to know you,

I want to know where your favourite place is.

I want to know how you take your coffee

I want to know your stories,

I want to get to know you better.

So if you please, tell me all about you.

You can go on for hours,

I really don’t mind.

Iets onnodig

Ek weet nie mee hoe om, om jou te wees nie.
Ek hou jou te veel in ag.

Jy maak my brein anders dink,
My gevoelings in ander dimensies sink.

Stadig, maar seker besef ek...
Jy is ook net mens

Jy maak my gelukkig,  so hoekom moet ons aanhou dit analiseer?

Dear friend

Whatever is bothering you,
Is eating you from the inside.

At the moment you look as if you are filled with negativity.

Your soul looks like it is broken,
There is something you are keeping from us.

If we cannot give you what you want,
go on and
Move  along.   

But if you want to stay, you should talk.
Talk like there is no tomorrow
Don't be afraid
We are here to stay.

Temptation

Under a starless night,
On a high level of ecstasy.

I drank half the bottel,
Just to realise, again, how I felt.

Tempting it is,
To reach out and hold your face,
Smile at your eyes,
Lock myself
In your embrace.

Constant day dreams, whispers of you,
Soothing cold to freeze my pains
These tears are words my heart
cannot explain.      

So many of my smiles begin with you.
You corrupted my mind and inflamed my soul. 

Yet I'm still waiting for a face that will never show.

Thank you

The fact that
You
Did not want me,
was
The beginning of me
wanting myself.

Thank you.

Unravel

You are like a map,
Waiting to be unraveled. 

You tell me I'm yours,
You won't even remember.

It's evil, do you even regret it?

An emotion that cannot be explained,
It is a beauty from afar.

This is something that I cannot deny.  

I need you,
I want you,
But the question is
...do I really?

Now, I cannot feel you anymore.
It is unnatural to me.

So...
Do you even still exist?

Dis net 'n aand.

Ek sit nou hier en kyk na die sterretjies.
Met die mooiste maan, so ver weg.
Pik donker naglig met n wit kring wat die donker veld verlig. 

'n Nag só stil met die geluid van krieke in die verte.  
Die bome sing terwyl die wind waai deur die ou verlepte blare. 
              
Die  nagapie spring van die een tak na die ander.
Wolkies bou stadig op in die verte en die wind waai erger.

Terwyl ek hier lê op die gras besef ek net weer...Die lewe is mooi.

Nothing is beautiful anymore

The roses wilted
and butterflies died
in my stomach.

It seems that nothing
is beautiful anymore.

Not even you.

'n Gedagte

Daar is ‘n verlange na iets.

Sonder enige gevoelings aangeheg.

Dit is my gedagtes wat volg saam die ritme van die musiek.

Ek hoor stemme wat praat, maar ek luister nie.

Ek dink.

Daar staan ‘n bottlewyn, rooi.

Daar word gepraat van dinge wat ons spot,

Tog dink ek nogsteeds.

a Different Perspective

I woke up

There was nothing.

The sheets so soft

The memories rough,

Dazing off into an unrealistic trans

I see life differently,

Your love, so distantly.

The summer nights, history,

with fairy lights , a mystery.

Love is a sacrifice,

Yet the idea of your love is so beautiful,

Like a ray of pure sunlight.

Now it is one minute to midnight and

I still see love from a different perspective. 

Stranger

I saw you once,

I didn't know that, what we were going to write together,

would end so soon.

You sit there 

soaking in perfection.

You left, 

and I never formally introduced myself.

Your light shining so beautifully, 

I watched from afar so pitifully.

Now you're gone, 

and a friend in you I wish I'd known.

Happiness

Happiness is not just a word

It is a feeling

An emotion that should not be questioned

We waste most of the time,
trying to find that one thing we all desire,
Happiness.

I used to think that sadness was beautiful,

Until I discovered,

Happiness is bliss.

It comes on
unexpectedly,

and goes beyond.

Precious be mine
Be mine for eternity 

Give me peace and total happiness,
come and settle in my soul.

Wake up and live, don’t wait all your life for happiness. 

Holding on

The wine so sweet,

The cigarettes even better

Music in the background,

Voices spreading over the room.

Yet, my head has been somewhere else.

Trying to ignore reality,

Yes, I am a dreamer and I’ll try not to leave you.

Maybe I am different,

Maybe I don’t belong.

But you need to set me free, for now…

“I want to sing with the trees,

I want to dance in the breeze,

I want to play with the flowers.”

Even though your love is going to kill me, I will try and hold on.

Pretentious Air

We are spinning webs of 
pretentious words.

It landed up going nowhere,

Those insensitive feelings

Emotions running through my spine,

Reflections, in the broken window, staring back at me

It is unfortunate that we cannot continue this,

Still there is a pretentious air
in the way you presume I care.

Those feelings within the broken window,
Paint them black,
Fade them away,
leave them be.